How do you deal with a Difficult Boss? As a coach, I often find myself coaching someone on this topic. Here are some tips to help you maintain your sanity and self-respect when working for an intolerable boss.

TIPS ON MANAGING UP WITH A DIFFICULT BOSS:
Manage Your Perspective
Even an intolerable boss is still a boss so it is your responsibility to manage up effectively. Explore what you can change about yourself as this is who you have the power to change. Look at how you get triggered and react to what your boss says or does. This may come from them unintentionally pushing the same buttons that Mom or Dad did in your childhood. Give yourself permission as an adult to respond differently vs just reacting. You can make a choice about this. Also, try focusing on the “good” qualities about your boss. Do you ever wonder if they are doing the best they can?

The Best Defense is a Good Offense
When dealing with a difficult boss, it is helpful to anticipate and be prepared. When you have an update meeting with them, go in with an agenda and start covering the items on your list. This works much better than you sitting there and being “grilled” by them about everything. Being in the offense is more empowering! Be sensitive to things that are important to them; such as, meeting deadlines, no typos on reports, and getting back to them ASAP.

Weigh the Risks vs. Benefits of Telling the Boss What You Need
It’s possible the boss doesn’t have a clue about what they are doing that is a problem for you. You could have a conversation using an “I message” technique to share what you need to be more effective (without casting blame on them). Work with your coach on the specific example and how to word it. If it doesn’t work, you’re probably no worse off than before the conversation.

Evaluate the Cost of Staying
There comes a time when working with a difficult boss that you must ask yourself it it’s worth it to stay. If the situation does not get better, despite what you’ve tried, your alternatives are:
Put up with it hoping it will change; request a transfer within the company; or quit. Weigh the costs/benefits – psychological, monetary, & logistical. One of the biggest reasons people leave a company is a difficult boss.

Have you ever been in this challenging situation? What tips do you have about managing up with a difficult boss? Share your tips and comments!  If you want coaching on dealing with a difficult boss, contact me Lois@LoisCarson.com