Do you want someone to change?  Maybe a direct report? Your boss?  How about your significant other?  Do you think, “If only… that would be great.”?

Here’s what you can do – EXPECT THE BEST!  Now, this may sound simple, yet it can be difficult.  You need to wrap your mind around it and be intentional about it.

Have you discovered that we tend to live up to what people expect of us? When someone says you’re so much fun.  Hmm, you are fun! When a father always says to his son, “You’ll never amount to anything” he is setting the boy up for failure.  On the contrary, think how your child or co-worker beams when you say, “You are such a talented artist, “I know that project will look great”!  You instill confidence and enthusiasm. You plant the seed for success.

When we expect the best, we bring out the best. You’re showing a loving faith in the person that they can be their best.  If you’re thinking, “I want so and so to change.” The secret to doing this is:  Treat that person the way you want him or her to become.  Do you want your direct report to succeed?  Treat them as if he/she is a successful person.  Do you want your mate to be more loving?  Treat them in a more loving way. Give what you are looking for. Do you want your child to be smart?  Treat them as if they are intelligent, not stupid.   AND you need to do this because you genuinely believe in them, not as an act of manipulation!

And really, another key point is, if you are wanting someone else to change, first ask yourself what you may need to change about you.  Do you need to change your mindset, your expectations, your perceptions, or how you communicate?

Want change?  EXPECT THE BEST of yourself and others!