Fear of conflict has to be on the top ten list of things people fear, especially at work. Do you ever fear conflict? Does your team? Is there an artificial harmony that covers up those bigger issues simmering underneath?
Recently, I talked about the importance of TRUST to effective teamwork, as discussed by Patrick Lencioni in The FIVE Dysfunctions of a Team. He points out failure to build trust is damaging because it sets the tone for the second dysfunction of a team: Fear of Conflict. “Teams that lack trust are incapable of engaging in unfiltered and passionate debate of ideas. Instead, they resort to veiled discussions and guarded comments.” Remember, a key part of trust is being comfortable being vulnerable with one another.
All great relationships require productive conflict in order to grow and sustain. This is true at the personal level, as well as, at work. Unfortunately, conflict is often considered taboo, especially at work. Lencioni discusses the important distinction between productive ideological conflict and destructive fighting and interpersonal politics. “Ideological conflict is limited to concepts and ideas, and avoids personality-focused, mean-spirited attacks.” Read this description and think about some team meetings you’ve been in where there has been conflict. What could be done differently next time?
Teams who engage in productive conflict know that the only purpose is to produce the best possible solution in the shortest time. Avoiding conflict actually wastes time because people dance around the issue without resolution and it keeps coming up again and again. Open, honest discussions where the team extracts and explores ideas from one another helps solve problems quickly. Avoid politics and personal attacks. When conflict arises, remind the team that healthy debate is necessary and productive.
What do you think? Do you ever fear conflict? What tips do you have about managing conflict?
If you’re feeling overwhelmed after reading this, you may need some extra help executing productive conflict. Feel free to contact me to discuss coaching or a team workshop. Lois@LoisCarson.com
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